Note to Future Self - Deep Fried Oreos

Dear Future Will,

Here is the recipe for 'Deep Fried Oreos'.

Makes 30 cookies:

* 2 quarts vegetable oil for frying
* 1 large egg
* 1 cup milk
* 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
* 1 cup pancake mix
* 1 (18 ounce) package Oreos

You are welcome.

Sincerely,

Past Will

A New Year

New Years is the time of reflections and resolutions. It's January 5th and although I'm almost a week late, I figure it's better now than never.

They say all you need in life is something to do, something to hope for, and someone to love. At the end of 2008, I believe I had all of it. I had a glimpse of hope when I made it to an in-person interview for the international nonprofit 'Doctors Without Borders'. I was working with a great group of people at my homeless database job. I felt genuinely loved by my girlfriend and she simply meant the world to me. Well, that was before 'shit happened', more aptly known to me as the year of 2009.

2009 reaffirmed that stability in any form is simply an illusion. I didn't get the logistics job with Doctors Without Borders, most of my coworkers left because of convoluted work politics, and my girlfriend and I had a really messed up breakup. I know things could have easily been worse, but I didn't cope well.

I tried to get back on my feet. I have such a great support network, I shouldn't have had any excuse not to recover, but for some reason I just couldn't. My mind kept wandering, I half assed everything, all except probably the drinking. My bar tabs would regularly reach the three digits per week. I became jaded with the idea of love and I don't remember the names of the last three girls I kissed. I'd meet some new and fun people, get numbers, but I ignored them since I knew I was an emotional train-wreck. Despite making more at my job, I stopped saving money to travel. I couldn't even study for the GREs; the idea of it just reaffirmed my own uncertainty of what I wanted to do with my life. I even applied for a temporary janitor position (in Antarctica) for a quarter of my salary, only to be wait listed. I found myself depressed.

My New Year started off at a local bar with a kiss to another random cute girl. After waking up, I thought I faintly remembered her name. A few days later, I finally decided to make a huge leap (for me at least) and call her. Luckily I got her voicemail so I was able to confirm the name. She called back later admitting to a recent breakup and still having issues with the ex. We won't be seeing each other, but I'm glad I made the attempt. I'm improving (albeit slightly) and I'm slowly writing again, which I find to be therapeutic.

Here's some of my New Years resolutions:

Try not to become a raging alcoholic
Climb a v5
Develop an iPhone application
Write a novel
Save money to travel ($1000 per month goal)
Travel somewhere out of the country
Don't buy shit I don't need
Continue to be genuine with myself and my friends
Meet more people, be more open minded
I want to get rid of anger as a feeling; I want to understand people and although I might not agree with everyone, I want to do a better job of getting in their shoes
Play my first game of rugby
Take a photography course

Cowabunga!!

A friend turned around asking, "Do you want to start a fight with the ninja turtles?" At the moment, it sounded like the best idea in the world, so I yelled back "Sure! Why not?!"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I quickly regretted the decision and immediately thought of a few good reasons why we should not start a fight with 'the ninja turtles'.

First of all, my friend was serious. I figured this out by the sounds of pushing and yelling that already ensued.

Second of all, I was wearing a homemade domo-kun costume. The costume pretty much consisted of a cardboard box from the knees up. There were two cut out holes for my arms and a tiny slit removed in front for visibility. I barely had the dexterity to navigate the streets of downtown on Halloween, much less try to hurt someone in it.

Third, the ninja turtles didn't do anything! You need a good reason to start any fight. I'd be more than happy to throw a few punches if someone else instigated or if they were really disrespectful to a girl, but this wasn't the case. We were missing a motive AND we were picking a fight with my childhood heroes?!

Fourth, we were all drunk. I'm not sure if this supports getting into a fight or not, but I think this reason trumps all previous reasoning.

So that's where we were, standing in the packed streets of downtown San Diego on Halloween night right after last call. Just earlier the streets were so crowded that you had to push people to get through, but the brawl left people watching from a safe distance. It looked like a mosh pit at a concert (if you were on LSD); in one corner we had the ninja turtles and on the other side we had Jesus, Domo-kun, a Catholic priest, a cat, and my drunken friend.

I don't remember exactly what I did, but I do remember breaking up the fight when I saw the bouncer of a nearby club jump in. I'm 5'10 and when I looked at him, I saw his chest. His arms were the size of my thigh and he didn't appear happy.

I blocked the bouncer, who was making a beeline for the fight. I said that my friend was drunk and that we were taking him straight home. That didn't remove the scowl on his face so I mentioned that my friend was mentally handicapped and we were just trying to get him to have a good Halloween, but he's not used to being in public. I guess the thought of punching a retarded guy wasn't the bouncer's idea of fun so he let us go and walked back to his post.

The altercation was over and we went off to finish another epic night. Sometimes I don't remember what drunk Will does so it's interesting to see pictures from friends. I've gotten a few of them and I'll post below:

Where's the time gone?

Wow, I've logged at least 40 hours of playtime on Dragon Age Origins, the newest Bioware game. It wouldn't be so bad if this was over the course of a month, but I got the game November 3rd and it's barely November 11th...

Left 4 Dead 2 is coming out in a few more days and I'll be subsequently hooked on that. There goes the thought of studying! Maybe I should wait off on taking the GRE, especially since I'm not sure what I want to major in yet...

Some friends and I have a trip planned to Vegas to celebrate my 25th birthday. That'll be fun! It's my first time in Vegas (as an adult). I don't plan on gambling, but I think it'll be a great place to have a beer and people watch.

Never fear, Will is here!

I sat in the middle of a semicircle of people, with all eyes focused on me. I chuckled at the next question, "What's the longest time that you've been car camping or backpacking?"

I replied that I don't think car camping constitutes as 'camping', but answered that the longest I've gone car camping has been two months straight. Some of the interviewers were visibly shocked at the reply, probably expecting an answer closer to a weekend. The guy nearest me joked "That's not car camping, that's being homeless". We all laughed (with me probably laughing the loudest).

I went on and explained some of my backpacking experiences, mainly wilderness hiking in Yosemite and the trips out to various secluded islands in Tonga. After the interview, one of the members told me that they would normally get back to an applicant in a week. For me, they'd get back to me in 2 minutes while I stepped out so they could vote.

Once I was welcomed back into the room, I heard that I passed my initial interview to become part of the San Diego Mountain Search and Rescue group. It was only the first step in becoming part of the volunteer group, but I was excited. The next test is a weekend trip out to an unknown location with other new applicants. It'll test our ability to pack for an unknown place, the ability to work with other potential SAR members, use our survival knowledge in a wilderness setting, and to learn new SAR skills.

After climbing these last couple months, I figure its about time to try to do something productive instead of only crimping progressively smaller plastic holds in a gym (although I definitely won't stop the latter).

[Updated - It costs a LOT for the additional equipment necessary for the Mountain Rescue Team. As much as I would love to join the group, I'm selfish and want to save up my money to travel again.]

Homeless Steve

It's been relatively hot in San Diego. The weather isn't so bad compared to other places in the world, but when you're confined to living inside a small Toyota Tacoma, it gets pretty unbearable. The afternoon heat regularly melts the sticky velcro on my truck's curtains and I'm constantly needing to reassemble it at night when the weather has cooled down a few degrees.

I've been thinking about different solutions to the heat problem and in theory have come up with using Reflectix, a radiant barrier (poor transmitter of infrared waves) that is commonly used in homes. The problem is locating where I can buy a small quantity at a low price (I'm trying to be frugal after all).

I was on the way to Target in search of the material when I spotted a dirty white colored van sitting isolated in the parking lot. The location made perfect sense despite being in the wide open parking lot:

1.) It was far enough from any particular business that normal shoppers wouldn't disturb the person(s) inside the van
2.) Even business owners might think that the van's owner was simply shopping at another location

I pulled around and decided to investigate further. I slowly circled the vehicle and did a quick analysis. The side curtains were drawn, but the windows were open. The back door was cracked to allow ventilation, but not enough to directly see inside. Laying across the roof was a cargo box and an open vent. Even though I couldn't physically see in it, I was confident someone was living in the vehicle.

I stopped a few parking stalls away from the van and approached the vehicle on foot. I wasn't sure how to start off a conversation so I loudly asked "Hi, is anyone in there?". As soon as the words left my mouth, I immediately felt bad; I probably startled the hell out of this person. I heard some faint scrambling noises inside.

I quickly followed it up by saying that I've been living out of my truck for the last month and that I wasn't a guard or a tow truck guy. I continued to have a one way conversation explaining that I came to ask for some advice on escaping the summer heat. After a couple minutes of what felt like talking to a rock, I saw a bearded man in his late 50's pop out into the driver's seat.

The homeless guy was friendly and said, "Hey, I didn't see you there. How's it going? So you're homeless too? Where's your truck?"

I pointed to my truck and explained my setup. He confirmed what I learned in my past month homeless; trucks are good for blending into an environment, but aren't good for extended homeless stays (since you don't have enough room to do anything in it). His opinion was that I wasn't going to last in the truck for long.

We traded notes on how we've been living so far. I told him some of my stories and favorite/worst places to park. He had a good laugh on my 'exploration' of sleeping areas, which included Wal-Marts and near police stations. He commented that parking in Wal-Mart lots would inevitably get your vehicle towed, but that parking at a McDonalds overnight never caused him any trouble.

He was quite frank on how he lived. He said that if he needed to pee, he peed in a giant fast food cup lying around. If he needed to go number two, he just used a plastic bag and threw it into a nearby trash can. He kept constantly moving to make sure that police didn't catch him (since it was illegal to live in a car).

As we continued talking in the blistering heat, I got a better idea about the guy; he had a raw, primal, and sincerely simple energy about him. He seemed like he could live off of practically nothing (which he probably did). There's something about a person that can take a shit into a plastic bag and not worry about things like hand sanitizer. Despite logic, the man had survived five years of van dwelling; even the 'necessities' that I thought I needed weren't really that necessary. (FYI: I respect his living style, but am not anywhere near adopting many of his lifestyle philosophies)

He had bought his vehicle for approximately $2000 about 10 years ago and has lived in it ever since. He was vague about how he got into his 'situation', but as we got deeper into our conversation, he expressed genuine fears about how anxious he was getting. At times he'd lose sleep over whether his car would start up the next day.

As soon as his car can't start up, he'd be dead in the water. He would be towed and wouldn't have the money to bail his car out. He explained that even though he didn't have many material possessions and despite how meager those possessions were, it was still all he had. He said that he was getting too old for living in his car and was finally looking for a place to stay.

I wished him luck in getting a room to rent. Before I walked away, I asked him what his name was. He replied "Steve" and I thanked him for readily sharing his sage advice. I extended my hand, ready to shake his, when both of us glanced at each other. For a second, we shared a telepathic link that said "Oh yeah, Steve shits in plastic bags in his car". I instantly retracted my hand shake and waved goodbye, saying "I'll see you around... maybe at a McDonalds parking lot."

Good luck Steve, I wish you the best.

Parking Lots

Since college, I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve been to a Wal-mart. I have two main reasons for my limited visits. For one, I remember watching a documentary proclaiming the evil practices of the giant corporation; I refuse to support any grossly unethical businesses. I wish I could say that that was my main and only reason for avoiding Wal-Marts.

Quite frankly, even if the company were entirely altruistic, I would probably still not visit because I never found the appeal of their low quality items. It was a wonder that I found myself heading towards the local Wal-mart at 11pm.

I vaguely remembered hearing that it was acceptable for people to openly park their cars for the night in a Wal-mart parking lot. I’m not sure how I even heard this rumor, maybe it was from the documentary; last night I thought it’d be an interesting theory to test.

I drove in expecting to see a small congregation of vans, trucks, and RVs forming on the outskirts of the parking lot. I imagined a camp filled with dark tinted vans, each with its own colorful history of police stakeouts and/or Amber alert kidnappings.

I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed when I found only one parked RV. All of the other vehicles looked like they were normal shoppers. I drove in closer to look for the telltale signs of a fellow road hobo; there would be curtains shut, windows wide open for ventilation, and maybe some form of light emitting from the cracks. I circled the parking lot and didn’t find what I was looking for.

However, I did find the security guard. He sat in his SUV and prowled the lot, occasionally driving up and down the lanes with his flashing orange lights. At first I didn’t pay him any notice; I figured I could park far enough away and he would leave me alone. I reasoned that the evil corporation probably didn’t pay him enough to actively look for trouble. On the other hand, I saw the signs that repeatedly stated “No Overnight Parking or You Will Be Towed”.

As much as I believe that ‘Bad Decisions make Great Stories’, there’s a certain line that has be drawn and having your vehicle towed while you’re still sleeping in it is not something that I’d like the pleasure of retelling. So instead of risking it, I simply drove up to the guard and asked him if it was acceptable to sleep in my vehicle.

The guard looked over at me with compassion morso than as a figure of authority. He explained how it was his job to make sure that no one parked overnight, with the exception of RVs (which were allowed a 1 day maximum). He gave a heartfelt apology. I told him no worries and that I didn’t want to make his job difficult (or get towed).

Just as I was leaving he mentioned that the lot further down the street (owned by Petco and Vons) was not guarded by anyone. He said I was more than welcome to stay there until the morning.

I thanked him and parked down the street in the nearly empty lot. It felt uncomfortable to be in such an open area, but I thought it’d be neat to try for at least one night. I wish the story ended here with me getting a good nights sleep, but you’ll be surprised at what goes on in a nearly empty parking lot at night.

My first interruption was what sounded like a drug deal that happened at 12:50 am. The two cars had parked approximately three car lengths away from me, with one car probably thinking that I was the initial buyer/seller. I peeked through my tinted window and lifted one of my blackout curtains just slightly to see what was going on. Since there wasn't much sound proofing in my vehicle, I could clearly hear their conversation, but I wasn't sure exactly what they were buying/selling, though it definitely seemed like a drug deal. After the deal, they surprised me with a quick conversation about the state of politics. Hmm, who would've thought?

I was woken from my sleep a second time by the sound of a nearby heavy engine. It scared me thinking that it was a tow truck. I hastily looked around and luckily it wasn’t. At this point, I started sleeping with my jeans on in case I needed to make a quick escape. It’s barely 2:30 am.

The third time I woke up hearing an engine rev loudly. This time I woke up more annoyed than frightened, thinking “Are you serious?” I looked through the back window to find someone working on his car just a few feet from my tailgate bumper. I look over at my cell phone and wonder who works on their car at 4 am in an empty parking lot?! After a few minutes, I hear his car revving away into the night (or what was left of it).

I've decided that I’m done with parking lots. I head back to my favorite spot, an apartment complex that sits inconspicuously a block away from the police station. I need whatever sleep I can get; I have work at 8:00 am.