Homesick Dreams

The last few days I had these reoccurring dreams. They always take place back in Reedley; this time I’m standing in the front yard just before one of my routine midnight runs. There’s hardly a soul outside and the towns already asleep. It’s the way I prefer it.

The cold night sends chills across my body. Even though it’s only a dream, I have the uncanny knowledge that I’m really half ways across the world. I know that I’m not in Reedley anymore and the childhood scene suddenly reminds me of what I miss.

I start getting homesick in my sleep. I miss being able to see the town at midnight. Who would’ve thought that simple lampposts were so important? I miss the simple freedom of being able to run without a shirt on. I miss running on the solid foundations of blacktop and cement. I miss the midnight breeze on my face when I’m jogging. The weather starts to numb the digits of my fingers and I remind myself that I need to get moving to stay warm.

The iPod that’s strapped to my right arm starts to come alive with music. I stretch a little, although I’m not accustomed to it. I only remember that my little brother keeps telling me to stretch whenever we run together. I smile slightly as I think about our shared sense of cynical humor… maybe that’s why we get along so well… I wonder how he’s doing in his classes…

I brush the thought off and change the track to a more upbeat song just before I begin running. It’s so simple; just place one foot in front of the other. It clears my mind up. I turn around the familiar street corner and soon find myself in front of the streetlight. The light is red and the road lays barren. I wait anyways and secretly catch my breath, using the light as an excuse. The first steps are always the toughest.

The light flashes green and the real run starts. Soon I jog by some familiar houses… I take a quick glance at a friend’s house that I went to for a memorable Fourth of July. So many years ago... I wonder why I didn’t keep in contact with her. I let that thought slip just as quickly as it appeared.

As my body starts to get tired, the endorphins are slowly released and they begin compensating for my lack of strength. Before long I find myself running by my old high school. Breathing is no longer difficult and I find my pace.

And then this sense of urgency snaps in me. I’m in a hurry and I don’t know where I’m going. I’m panicked and confused, yet the setting looks exactly the same. Nothing’s changed… but the world feels slightly different. I wake up filled with questions. I’m left wondering where am I? Where am I going? And what’s the hurry?