The disillusionment of self by the self as pointed out by another

Sometimes I like to think of myself as a patient guy. I like to think that I'm open minded and respectful of how others live. I like to think I'm not judgmental. I like to think that no matter how someone else lives, I can coexist peacefully with anyone. That was before I moved in with my girlfriend.

That's one of the many 'perks' about being in a relationship; your significant other will without a doubt bring you back to reality and remind you how close minded, disrespectful, and judgmental you are (especially if you're in an argument). Ok, maybe I'm being a little harsh; she's a lot nicer than it sounds here and to her credit, a lot of times I am all of the above. The main point though, is that being in a relationship has shown me sides of myself, both good and bad, that I never would have guessed were hiding in the deepest recesses of my personality.

One of these traits that I discovered is how much I can't stand certain actions or beliefs being superimposed into my life. I could spend the night typing out an epic list, but I'll keep it short and addressed towards my main concern - Money. Like any typical couple, we have our disagreements about our finances.

My philosophy on finances is simple; don't spend it if you don't have it. Sure I use my credit card during emergencies, but it should ONLY be reserved for emergencies. I've been raised to think that there's a certain disillusioned mentality out there that believe they can use their credit cards without needing to pay the consequences of interest and debt.

I'm on the other end of the spectrum and am exceptionally wary about using credit. To me, credit is this fake magic money that appears out of thin air. As a personal rule, anything that breaks the laws of physics and creates something out of nothing is beyond my limited understanding of this world. I try my best to stay clear of it. Credit will forever be etched in my mind as this evil plastic card that's ready to trade your financial peace of mind for something like the latest laptop, a new car, or a crazy night with lots of hookers and pounds of unadulterated cocaine. (Of course this isn't realistic, I doubt hookers and drug dealers accept major credit cards)

Ok, after reading that last paragraph, some may argue that I might be the disillusioned one. I admit that that statement is very plausible. It's true that I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of credit, but the result is that my credit card debt usually comes out to $0 at the end of every month. I adapt to my environment and I learn to be happy with what I have. Money helps, but it won't certaintly determine whether you're ultimately happy or not.

When I see someone living 'beyond their means', I have a hard time accepting it. Sure if it's a stranger, I couldn't care less how they live... but when it's someone you love, it's extremely difficult to see them digging themselves a deeper financial grave. It's even more difficult when they're so closely entangled with you that you become involved.

I guess if I were more open minded and not so judgmental, I could adapt and coexist with anyone. Well, I learned that I'm not like that; I really can't coexist with just anyone. I am adamant and unwavering about a lot of things, and finances is one of them. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to learn this about myself.

The reality is that there's a line that has to be drawn, and I'm definitely sticking to mine; I believe in living simply and within my means, even if it means picking either the hookers or the cocaine, but not both.