Cowabunga!!

A friend turned around asking, "Do you want to start a fight with the ninja turtles?" At the moment, it sounded like the best idea in the world, so I yelled back "Sure! Why not?!"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I quickly regretted the decision and immediately thought of a few good reasons why we should not start a fight with 'the ninja turtles'.

First of all, my friend was serious. I figured this out by the sounds of pushing and yelling that already ensued.

Second of all, I was wearing a homemade domo-kun costume. The costume pretty much consisted of a cardboard box from the knees up. There were two cut out holes for my arms and a tiny slit removed in front for visibility. I barely had the dexterity to navigate the streets of downtown on Halloween, much less try to hurt someone in it.

Third, the ninja turtles didn't do anything! You need a good reason to start any fight. I'd be more than happy to throw a few punches if someone else instigated or if they were really disrespectful to a girl, but this wasn't the case. We were missing a motive AND we were picking a fight with my childhood heroes?!

Fourth, we were all drunk. I'm not sure if this supports getting into a fight or not, but I think this reason trumps all previous reasoning.

So that's where we were, standing in the packed streets of downtown San Diego on Halloween night right after last call. Just earlier the streets were so crowded that you had to push people to get through, but the brawl left people watching from a safe distance. It looked like a mosh pit at a concert (if you were on LSD); in one corner we had the ninja turtles and on the other side we had Jesus, Domo-kun, a Catholic priest, a cat, and my drunken friend.

I don't remember exactly what I did, but I do remember breaking up the fight when I saw the bouncer of a nearby club jump in. I'm 5'10 and when I looked at him, I saw his chest. His arms were the size of my thigh and he didn't appear happy.

I blocked the bouncer, who was making a beeline for the fight. I said that my friend was drunk and that we were taking him straight home. That didn't remove the scowl on his face so I mentioned that my friend was mentally handicapped and we were just trying to get him to have a good Halloween, but he's not used to being in public. I guess the thought of punching a retarded guy wasn't the bouncer's idea of fun so he let us go and walked back to his post.

The altercation was over and we went off to finish another epic night. Sometimes I don't remember what drunk Will does so it's interesting to see pictures from friends. I've gotten a few of them and I'll post below:

Where's the time gone?

Wow, I've logged at least 40 hours of playtime on Dragon Age Origins, the newest Bioware game. It wouldn't be so bad if this was over the course of a month, but I got the game November 3rd and it's barely November 11th...

Left 4 Dead 2 is coming out in a few more days and I'll be subsequently hooked on that. There goes the thought of studying! Maybe I should wait off on taking the GRE, especially since I'm not sure what I want to major in yet...

Some friends and I have a trip planned to Vegas to celebrate my 25th birthday. That'll be fun! It's my first time in Vegas (as an adult). I don't plan on gambling, but I think it'll be a great place to have a beer and people watch.

Never fear, Will is here!

I sat in the middle of a semicircle of people, with all eyes focused on me. I chuckled at the next question, "What's the longest time that you've been car camping or backpacking?"

I replied that I don't think car camping constitutes as 'camping', but answered that the longest I've gone car camping has been two months straight. Some of the interviewers were visibly shocked at the reply, probably expecting an answer closer to a weekend. The guy nearest me joked "That's not car camping, that's being homeless". We all laughed (with me probably laughing the loudest).

I went on and explained some of my backpacking experiences, mainly wilderness hiking in Yosemite and the trips out to various secluded islands in Tonga. After the interview, one of the members told me that they would normally get back to an applicant in a week. For me, they'd get back to me in 2 minutes while I stepped out so they could vote.

Once I was welcomed back into the room, I heard that I passed my initial interview to become part of the San Diego Mountain Search and Rescue group. It was only the first step in becoming part of the volunteer group, but I was excited. The next test is a weekend trip out to an unknown location with other new applicants. It'll test our ability to pack for an unknown place, the ability to work with other potential SAR members, use our survival knowledge in a wilderness setting, and to learn new SAR skills.

After climbing these last couple months, I figure its about time to try to do something productive instead of only crimping progressively smaller plastic holds in a gym (although I definitely won't stop the latter).

[Updated - It costs a LOT for the additional equipment necessary for the Mountain Rescue Team. As much as I would love to join the group, I'm selfish and want to save up my money to travel again.]

Homeless Steve

It's been relatively hot in San Diego. The weather isn't so bad compared to other places in the world, but when you're confined to living inside a small Toyota Tacoma, it gets pretty unbearable. The afternoon heat regularly melts the sticky velcro on my truck's curtains and I'm constantly needing to reassemble it at night when the weather has cooled down a few degrees.

I've been thinking about different solutions to the heat problem and in theory have come up with using Reflectix, a radiant barrier (poor transmitter of infrared waves) that is commonly used in homes. The problem is locating where I can buy a small quantity at a low price (I'm trying to be frugal after all).

I was on the way to Target in search of the material when I spotted a dirty white colored van sitting isolated in the parking lot. The location made perfect sense despite being in the wide open parking lot:

1.) It was far enough from any particular business that normal shoppers wouldn't disturb the person(s) inside the van
2.) Even business owners might think that the van's owner was simply shopping at another location

I pulled around and decided to investigate further. I slowly circled the vehicle and did a quick analysis. The side curtains were drawn, but the windows were open. The back door was cracked to allow ventilation, but not enough to directly see inside. Laying across the roof was a cargo box and an open vent. Even though I couldn't physically see in it, I was confident someone was living in the vehicle.

I stopped a few parking stalls away from the van and approached the vehicle on foot. I wasn't sure how to start off a conversation so I loudly asked "Hi, is anyone in there?". As soon as the words left my mouth, I immediately felt bad; I probably startled the hell out of this person. I heard some faint scrambling noises inside.

I quickly followed it up by saying that I've been living out of my truck for the last month and that I wasn't a guard or a tow truck guy. I continued to have a one way conversation explaining that I came to ask for some advice on escaping the summer heat. After a couple minutes of what felt like talking to a rock, I saw a bearded man in his late 50's pop out into the driver's seat.

The homeless guy was friendly and said, "Hey, I didn't see you there. How's it going? So you're homeless too? Where's your truck?"

I pointed to my truck and explained my setup. He confirmed what I learned in my past month homeless; trucks are good for blending into an environment, but aren't good for extended homeless stays (since you don't have enough room to do anything in it). His opinion was that I wasn't going to last in the truck for long.

We traded notes on how we've been living so far. I told him some of my stories and favorite/worst places to park. He had a good laugh on my 'exploration' of sleeping areas, which included Wal-Marts and near police stations. He commented that parking in Wal-Mart lots would inevitably get your vehicle towed, but that parking at a McDonalds overnight never caused him any trouble.

He was quite frank on how he lived. He said that if he needed to pee, he peed in a giant fast food cup lying around. If he needed to go number two, he just used a plastic bag and threw it into a nearby trash can. He kept constantly moving to make sure that police didn't catch him (since it was illegal to live in a car).

As we continued talking in the blistering heat, I got a better idea about the guy; he had a raw, primal, and sincerely simple energy about him. He seemed like he could live off of practically nothing (which he probably did). There's something about a person that can take a shit into a plastic bag and not worry about things like hand sanitizer. Despite logic, the man had survived five years of van dwelling; even the 'necessities' that I thought I needed weren't really that necessary. (FYI: I respect his living style, but am not anywhere near adopting many of his lifestyle philosophies)

He had bought his vehicle for approximately $2000 about 10 years ago and has lived in it ever since. He was vague about how he got into his 'situation', but as we got deeper into our conversation, he expressed genuine fears about how anxious he was getting. At times he'd lose sleep over whether his car would start up the next day.

As soon as his car can't start up, he'd be dead in the water. He would be towed and wouldn't have the money to bail his car out. He explained that even though he didn't have many material possessions and despite how meager those possessions were, it was still all he had. He said that he was getting too old for living in his car and was finally looking for a place to stay.

I wished him luck in getting a room to rent. Before I walked away, I asked him what his name was. He replied "Steve" and I thanked him for readily sharing his sage advice. I extended my hand, ready to shake his, when both of us glanced at each other. For a second, we shared a telepathic link that said "Oh yeah, Steve shits in plastic bags in his car". I instantly retracted my hand shake and waved goodbye, saying "I'll see you around... maybe at a McDonalds parking lot."

Good luck Steve, I wish you the best.

Parking Lots

Since college, I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve been to a Wal-mart. I have two main reasons for my limited visits. For one, I remember watching a documentary proclaiming the evil practices of the giant corporation; I refuse to support any grossly unethical businesses. I wish I could say that that was my main and only reason for avoiding Wal-Marts.

Quite frankly, even if the company were entirely altruistic, I would probably still not visit because I never found the appeal of their low quality items. It was a wonder that I found myself heading towards the local Wal-mart at 11pm.

I vaguely remembered hearing that it was acceptable for people to openly park their cars for the night in a Wal-mart parking lot. I’m not sure how I even heard this rumor, maybe it was from the documentary; last night I thought it’d be an interesting theory to test.

I drove in expecting to see a small congregation of vans, trucks, and RVs forming on the outskirts of the parking lot. I imagined a camp filled with dark tinted vans, each with its own colorful history of police stakeouts and/or Amber alert kidnappings.

I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed when I found only one parked RV. All of the other vehicles looked like they were normal shoppers. I drove in closer to look for the telltale signs of a fellow road hobo; there would be curtains shut, windows wide open for ventilation, and maybe some form of light emitting from the cracks. I circled the parking lot and didn’t find what I was looking for.

However, I did find the security guard. He sat in his SUV and prowled the lot, occasionally driving up and down the lanes with his flashing orange lights. At first I didn’t pay him any notice; I figured I could park far enough away and he would leave me alone. I reasoned that the evil corporation probably didn’t pay him enough to actively look for trouble. On the other hand, I saw the signs that repeatedly stated “No Overnight Parking or You Will Be Towed”.

As much as I believe that ‘Bad Decisions make Great Stories’, there’s a certain line that has be drawn and having your vehicle towed while you’re still sleeping in it is not something that I’d like the pleasure of retelling. So instead of risking it, I simply drove up to the guard and asked him if it was acceptable to sleep in my vehicle.

The guard looked over at me with compassion morso than as a figure of authority. He explained how it was his job to make sure that no one parked overnight, with the exception of RVs (which were allowed a 1 day maximum). He gave a heartfelt apology. I told him no worries and that I didn’t want to make his job difficult (or get towed).

Just as I was leaving he mentioned that the lot further down the street (owned by Petco and Vons) was not guarded by anyone. He said I was more than welcome to stay there until the morning.

I thanked him and parked down the street in the nearly empty lot. It felt uncomfortable to be in such an open area, but I thought it’d be neat to try for at least one night. I wish the story ended here with me getting a good nights sleep, but you’ll be surprised at what goes on in a nearly empty parking lot at night.

My first interruption was what sounded like a drug deal that happened at 12:50 am. The two cars had parked approximately three car lengths away from me, with one car probably thinking that I was the initial buyer/seller. I peeked through my tinted window and lifted one of my blackout curtains just slightly to see what was going on. Since there wasn't much sound proofing in my vehicle, I could clearly hear their conversation, but I wasn't sure exactly what they were buying/selling, though it definitely seemed like a drug deal. After the deal, they surprised me with a quick conversation about the state of politics. Hmm, who would've thought?

I was woken from my sleep a second time by the sound of a nearby heavy engine. It scared me thinking that it was a tow truck. I hastily looked around and luckily it wasn’t. At this point, I started sleeping with my jeans on in case I needed to make a quick escape. It’s barely 2:30 am.

The third time I woke up hearing an engine rev loudly. This time I woke up more annoyed than frightened, thinking “Are you serious?” I looked through the back window to find someone working on his car just a few feet from my tailgate bumper. I look over at my cell phone and wonder who works on their car at 4 am in an empty parking lot?! After a few minutes, I hear his car revving away into the night (or what was left of it).

I've decided that I’m done with parking lots. I head back to my favorite spot, an apartment complex that sits inconspicuously a block away from the police station. I need whatever sleep I can get; I have work at 8:00 am.

Do Your Ethics Correlate to Your Debt + Standard of Living?

Let's say that tomorrow, the company you work for does a legal, but unethical thing. Although it really depends on what the situation is, I'd like to ask this main question for tonight's blog post, "What's the extent that you as a person, are willing to do based on your personal morals and societies' laws?"

If a legal, but unethical situation happens, I would assume that most people would try to fix the issue, say through a manager or their human resources department. Now what if nothing is done about the complaint? Do you bring the issue up again? Maybe. Would you quit or even risk your job? Probably not. People have credit card debt, student loans, car payments, cell phone bills, electric, and rent/mortgage payments.

This got me thinking about what I would personally do. I find that the higher my standard of living and the larger my debt, the higher chances that I have of compromising who I am, what I believe in, and what I do. For example, I know that right now if I ran into an unethical situation at work, I have no qualms about quitting. Its hard to imagine, but if I had a house payment (or was trying to support a wife and 3 kids), that even if something grossly unethical happened at work, I would be a lot less inclined to quit or risk my job. Some would say that given the latter scenario of a dependent household, I would not have the freedom or the luxury.

Now let's take it a step further.  What if an illegal and unethical situation happens? Would we still look the other way? Would you quit? Some people may say to look for another job, but what if taking another job means making less money and not being able to support your current standard of living? We all talk big, but who would really lower their standard of living if the unethical/illegal situation does not affect them directly?

These are just some thoughts going through my head right now. Today I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. I was scheduled to help interview 7 people for a new job posting in my company. I had time to glance over all of the resumes and knew that everyone was older and had much more experience than me; some of the people being interviewed were easily twice my age. None of that bothered me in the slightest because I knew my database.

What bothered me was that the job was posted with a vague description and it was designed without consulting the current staff. I'm still not sure who posted it, but with all due respect, they had no idea what they were writing. It pretty much asked for a Technical Program Manager position without stating the actual duties involved.

As a nerd, let me just say that a nerd is not just a nerd. I could break it down thoroughly, but for the most part a hardware nerd is much different than a software nerd. Hardware nerds are knowledgeable about subjects like servers, routers, firewalls, switches, and network infrastructure. The software nerds are knowledgeable about different programs and it also gets really specific; for example, there's a world of difference between high level programming and low level programming. Today we were looking at who could do queries, report design, database migrations, and database merges.

The list can go on for both categories, but needless to say we were looking for a very specific skill set (even though the posting didn't specify it). It'd be the equivalent of hiring for a restaurant at an upscale French restaurant saying "Need good chef" without mentioning whether they're seeking a sous-chef or pastry chef.

It's difficult to explain how this even happened. I heard that the position was posted last week (by an unknown person to me). Interviews were then scheduled immediately by the Executive Director. Since learning about the posting, I've asked for the job description (since I'm helping with the interviews), but did not get any straight answers. Since the ED has only been here for a month, I asked quite frankly if the ED knew what the current staff even did (much less try to hire new staff).

The ED finally responded back to me with a list of the duties that everyone in the team was responsible for. We looked at the list for a few minutes and could tell that the ED didn't even know what we were doing. I got the list yesterday and replied, but have not heard anything about it yet. It gets a lot more complicated with the history of the organization, but let's say that its provoked me to think about the state of affairs here.

I have mixed feelings about this whole situation. For the most part, I laugh at how absurd everything is. What I can tell you about this whole situation is that I am VERY thankful that I do not have anymore debt (including student loans). Without debt, I feel like I have my freedom. I do not need to stay at this company if I disagree with how it is run. I do not create a situation where I need the money in order for me to maintain my standard of living (however low that is). I cannot be happier with how I'm living (even if I am living in my truck). I can't take a shower whenever I want, but I never need to compromise who I am.

The People You Meet!

Trying to find cover from San Diego's harsh afternoon sunlight, I situated myself under a tree in a secluded section of the park. After reading for a couple of hours, I decided to take a nap. Despite finding a nice area, beams of searing light still passed through the thin branches. Improvising, I shielded my eyes with a book before falling asleep.

I woke up to hear the grass rustling heavily around me. The noises that woke me weren't from the surrounding sounds in the park, but instead came from something very close; it sounded almost at arms reach away. Being incredibly lazy, I peaked through the book to see what was causing the sounds.

There stood an ugly pit bull, panting from the heat and sniffing the grass at an uncomfortable distance; the dog's nose was literally an inch from me. I removed the book and saw that the pit-bull wore a chain leash. Holding the other end of the leash was the owner, who was letting his dog sniff me as if I had somehow farted sweet cinnamon rolls in my sleep and it was only natural for them to come investigate.

Not only did it seem creepy enough to wake up having a strange dog smelling you, but the pet owner was even creepier. He looked around my age, but dirtier; that says a lot about someone when you're dirtier than a homeless person. He looked directly at me when I glanced at him. I wondered for a moment, how long he stood staring at me before I woke up. I quickly brushed the thought away and scanned the area, finding that the rest of the park had plenty of other trees with shade.

I looked back at the owner with an expression of "WTF" written across my face. Common sense dictates that taking a nap at a public park is normal. However, it’s not normal (and it seems downright rude) to purposely let your dog sniff someone whose napping. Besides that, you do not just stand there and stare at people sleeping! Having just woken up, the best I could manage was saying "Ummmm... hi, what are you doing?" while giving my best scowl.

The slow witted pet owner misinterpreted my hostility and instead got the impression that I wanted a casual conversation with him. He asked if the book I was reading (Gregory Maguire's 'Wicked') was anything like Stephen King books. Hoping to end our conversation there, I bluntly replied no.

He continued onto a rant about how his parents tell him not to read Stephen King books, but he does it anyway because he's a ‘rebel’. I tried to switch the subject by mentioning that his dog is too close to me, but he magically hears something different. I guess people hear what they want to hear.

What I say: “Why did you let your dog get that close to me when I’m sleeping?”
He seems to hear something different and replies: “Don’t worry, he’s a good dog. He’s a mix between a chow and a pit bull. I’ve had him for two years and he's so energetic, etc…”

This goes on for a couple minutes where whenever I hint for him to get lost, he believes I'm thoroughly enjoying his company and would like nothing more than to continue our exciting dialogue. I resist the urge to outright tell the crazy guy and his dog to leave so I can nap in peace.

As I'm trying to find a polite way of ending our 'conversation', he tells me how he lives with his parents and how he's bored all the time, but doesn't want to get a job or go to school. A weird feeling comes over me and I start to feel compassion for the guy. Maybe he has serious brain damage and I’m the closest thing to a friend he has. I start to feel like an ass for being the rude one.

After listening to 10 more minutes of his ranting about various subjects and after dispensing some of my own heartfelt advice (get a job), the compassion I felt is officially gone. I decide that he is either really crazy or really stoned. I tell him that I need to go.

Before I leave, he asks for my number and says that we should hang out to play video games, which he assumes that I’m a gamer (I'm sure his parents would have loved to have their unemployed son bring home a homeless person to play video games with him).

Normally I don't lie, but I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not interested; I tell him that I don't have a cell phone and that I don't really like to play video games. I'm a terrible liar and even if he did believe me, my cell phone (which was sitting inside my yoga bag nearby) began to ring. We looked at each other in silence while my cell phone continued to ring until finally the call was forwarded to voice mail. At this point, I'm pretty confident that the guy was stoned beyond belief or seriously messed up in the head because he didn't seem to register that I just received a call.

I quickly and awkwardly said my goodbye. I walked away pretending like I had a place to go, but as soon as he seemed far away, I resettled down to the nearest sturdy tree and started reading again.

Note: Although this was a weird stranger, I've bumped into many friendly strangers as well. Just a week ago at midnight, I was parked in a residential zone sitting in the back of the hobotruck folding my laundry neatly into my storage compartments. I had my camping light turned on, but didn't bother to put down the blackout curtains yet since street lighting provided some additional lighting and I didn't want to use my precious batteries.

My activities caught the attention of a cute girl who had just parked nearby. She walked over asking "Are you camping?". I looked over and saw someone a few years younger than me straddling a long board under her small arms. She seemed to have the stereotypical mellow surfer vibe so after being prompted, I explained my story of being homeless by personal choice and how I wanted this personal experience. We talked for a while before she said the board was getting heavy. She pointed out her house nearby and said to knock if I ever needed anything. I thought that was cool of her to offer.

Ever been interviewed by a homeless guy?

I've been homeless for about two weeks now. This week I've been reviewing resumes and next week I'll start interviewing people for a new position in the company. What has this world come to? Homeless people are interviewing people for jobs!

Its such a strange feeling to be on the other side filtering the resumes instead of submitting them. For the position that we'll start interviewing next week, many of the applicants have their masters degree. We're also hiring a junior position that will mirror my job. I'm looking at my qualifications and I don't think even I meet the posted qualifications for my own job.

The hobotruck

I've had the hobotruck since 2003, although back then it was just a regular truck. When I first bought it, it was a tan colored 2003 Toyota Tacoma with a regular cab. For years its been a reliable vehicle that I've taken on many camping trips.

I considered buying a Volkswagon Vanagon, but couldn't find one that was reasonably priced and nearby. So instead I went and modifed my Tacoma. Here's what was done:

Camper shell - The camper shell is the same tan color as the original truck. It has 9 inches of lift over the regular height. This allows more vertical room so I can sit up straight and not bump my head into the wall. Windows slide open on the side for ventilation. The original glass window in the back of the truck has been taken out so I can crawl through from the driver's side to the truckbed if I wanted to. Black tubing connects the two spaces so that its rainproof.

Curtains - For curtains I went to Ikea and bought some blackout curtains. I cut the fabric to match the windows and installed them using velcro. I can have my lights on inside and there's no residue light that spills to the outside of the vehicle. On one of the sides I have a tension rod mounted and the curtains are hung.

Bed - For bedding, I use a self-inflating ThermaRest DreamTime camping mattress that I picked up at REI. Its 3 inches of cushioning with a foam pillow top and fleece lining. It lays lengthwise across my truck bed and fits perfectly. For a pillow I use my memory foam pillow from Costco.

Road Trip

On Saturday I took the hobotruck out to Arroyo Grande and back. I was meeting up with some friends who I hadn't seen in a while. My weeks have been really packed and it happened to be the only day that I could visit. However, I had to be back in San Diego by Sunday since I had tickets to Comic Con.

It was the first time traveling in my hobotruck and for over 600 miles, every mile felt like home. 600 miles is a long distance to travel in 24 hours, but as soon as I was tired, I pulled over. I didn't have to worry about making it to the next rest stop or finding an affordable place with vacancy. Within minutes I was setup and happily sleeping. It didn't matter the environment, I was able to adapt to it.

I met up with a few Peace Corps friends that I haven't seen in a while. Good times :)

Pre-Homeless Adventure Thoughts

I put in my 30 day rent notice; my last day as a tenant is August 1, 2009. Although I've joked about it a lot, I honestly don't think its fair to call my 'situation' homeless; I think it'd be an insult to those that are really homeless.

First of all, its my choice to not rent housing. Personally, I think the system is inherently flawed when people are sinking in a quarter to over half their monthly income on rent alone. Let's do some napkin math. The median income for the City of San Diego is $36,637 (2000 US Census bureau). This comes out to making roughly $3,000 a month. After all the taxes, medicare, social security, etc. and you take home about $2200 a month.

I currently make approximately that amount and am a relatively fresh out of college student. Housing costs approximately $550 to $1000+, depending on the number of roommates and the location. That's anywhere from a quarter of my income to almost half of what I make being spent on rent alone. If you make less than the median income, you'd be spending more than half your income on rent. If you make more, you probably have more bills (student loans anyone?).

People are spending anywhere from $18 to $33 a night and that's not factoring in any utility costs. Some people are willing to pay that cost, but I think a lot of people don't even realize how much they're paying. My thoughts are that I don't think its worth it. I understand everyone's situation is different; I definitely would not have even considered this a few months back when I was still in a relationship. However, at this point in my life, I think car camping compliments my nomadic lifestyle so I've chosen not to rent.

Another common response I get is that people think I've fallen on hard times. I am not destitute; far from it, I don't even have any debt. (And who can say that in this day and age?) I still have stable income and even have a little savings. While some might not consider this a factor in whether I'm considered homeless, I think it greatly affects my ability to find housing should I choose to. I know that at any time, I can easily check into a hotel without it hurting me much financially. I can rent again should I decide to. I've been fortunate that I've never had to do anything for just the money and hopefully my luck will continue.

Now let's talk about the definition of "homeless". According to the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), people living in a car are considered homeless because its a "place not meant for habitation". Contrary to HUD, I think I still have shelter. My camper shell with all weather carpet still provides adequate cover and protection from the weather. Am I roughing it? Hardly. I'm laying on a $200 Thermarest Dreamtime mattress wrapped inside a nice 3 season sleeping bag. I've roughed it more camping in Yosemite.

Is it different than how most people live? Yeah, I suppose so. I don't think I can say whether its better or worse. All I can say is that at this moment, this is what I want to try and there's nothing more and nothing less.

Some people frown on this and I think that's great too; society as we know it cannot handle everyone living this type of lifestyle. What would happen if everyone looked around themselves and decided "Hey, I don't really need this..."? The economy as we know it would probably collapse. Streets and parks would be crowded and houses would be empty. Its a good thing that we all have different perspectives, different lifestyles, and different priorities.

Who needs a home?

I look around my apartment room and its barren except for a plain mattress and a desk with my computer. Lately it's been making me think about living out of my truck. Besides, I'm outdoors most of the time. I could totally make it work. Here's my current thought process:

Pros:

• I need a camper shell. I can pick one up on craigslist for pretty cheap once I get paid next week. The cost of a camper shell is a flat investment and maybe one month's rent if it's new.
• My truck is small, but I can make a makeshift bed inside the camper shell and sleep in there at nights. A buddy and I slept in the back without a camper shell in Yosemite and it was comfy enough, even when it was freezing outside. San Diego doesn't get that cold outside and after studying homelessness, I know that the times where you can possibly die while sleeping outside are the times when the city opens the winter shelters (that's how the winter shelters started, with a homeless person dying while sleeping outside and city officials responding by calculating exactly when the temperatures fall from 'discomfort' level to 'possible death' levels)
  
• Since my truck is small, I can blend in well by parking on the streets. I'm also familiar with most of San Diego now since I've driven to practically every homeless shelter here
  
• I'm in San Diego and there's homeless everywhere. I doubt a cop would take the time to give me a ticket for sleeping in my vehicle when there's people obviously sleeping on the curb.
• I have all my camping equipment including sleeping bag and a mini camping stove.
• I have one weeks worth of clothes, which means I can easily fit everything into a small box.
• I'm paying about $600 a month on utilities and rent. While its relatively cheap, that's still like $20 a night. That's how much sleeping in a hostel costs.
• Worst case scenario is that I crash with friends / family in the area if it doesn't work out.
• My work has showers and since its a stereotypical non-profit, its mainly women working there. Except for one other guy, no one else really uses the guys' showers.
• Freedom to roam wherever! When I go climbing or hiking, I don't have to drive 'home'.

Cons:

• Problem: Nowhere to use the facilities at nights and on weekends
• Possible Solution: Walmart or 24 hour fitness gym membership?
  
  
• Problem: Personal Hygiene
• Possible Solution: Keep 1 gallon of clean water at all times with a mini sink built-in that flushes into an empty 5 gallon tank?
  
  
• Problem: Nowhere to store my surfboard safely and I'd have to return my friend's rock climbing crashpad
• Possible Solution: ???
  
  
• Problem: My smell... (Sure, I'll just blame this one on being homeless...)

Overall, I think the pros are outweighing the cons more and more. I think this will be the start of another great adventure!!! :)

Futbol

I met my team five minutes before the game started. I knew a few of them, but for the most part, we were still trying to figure out each others' names when we got onto the field. Names and faces were extra important to me since we were the green team and the opposing team was red (and I'm partially red/green color blind)

Slight color blind genetics was probably the least of my worries since I had a host of other problems. For one, I lacked any real soccer experience. I haven't played soccer since middle school. At the time I remember making the soccer team... and promptly quitting since the video game 'Crash Bandicoot 2' was just released on the Playstation. You shouldn't ask a nerdy student whether he preferred running laps or helping a bandicoot save the world from Doctor Nitrus Brio!!! So I didn't quite remember the rules, no big deal.

We warmed up by kicking the ball on the field for a couple of minutes. I immediately felt out of breath and tired. I mentioned it and I think people thought I was joking. Ok, maybe I'm a little out of shape, no big deal.

I was still optimistic. I saw some elderly ladies in the parking lot, maybe they were the red team. The reality of the situation dawned on me as some of the red team appeared onto the field. One person was wearing a San Diego State soccer jersey and another had on a US Marine Corps soccer shirt (and that's just what some of the girls were wearing). The guys had custom names and numbers. Thinking it was a 'beginner / intermediate league', I was almost ready to show up in my sandals. I didn't even know that shinguards were required until an hour before the game.

I can describe in detail how the red team kicked our ass, but I'm sure no one wants to hear about that! We ended up losing 15-3 (the scoreboard stopped keeping track after they hit 15 before half time). Apparently they were in the league's final match last year.

In the end, what really mattered was that it was really fun. It was neat meeting new people and jumping back into something active. I also realized that all the stuff that I've normally been doing hasn't even been remotely competitive; yoga, rock climbing, running, slacklining, surfing, and hiking. All of that has been very mellow and relaxed. I guess its good to change things up a bit.

Hard to believe

After all this time, I still have trouble believing that I have expendable income. I'm not under the delusion that money can buy happiness, but I do know money can buy 'freedom'.

Time to move on

All of my friends told me not to do it, but I still did. Like most good advice, I ignored it.

Everyone told me not to contact her again and to move on. I disagreed and thought that maybe there was a chance left to fix our relationship. If there was, I knew I wanted to take that leap of faith. Even after everything that's gone on in the last couple months, I still loved her.

So I contacted her, told her how much I still loved her, apologized for the mistakes I've made, and asked if she wanted to give us another chance. Initially she didn't want to talk; she needed her space. I understood and said I would wait however long she needed. After a couple weeks of waiting, I got the call yesterday.

At this point in time, I can only say what I feel now. I might look back on this months or years later and just simply think what an idiot I was. To make this short, we talked and I told her that I knew things could work out with us. I knew that I loved her and that in the end, nothing else would matter as long as she loved me too.

But she didn't. She said doesn't love me. She then told me how she didn't love me even a month before I broke up (the same time I said I would stop paying rent for the both of us, etc.) She said she was just too afraid to tell me.

Before the call, I thought I was ready for it and had all my scenarios planned out. If she doesn't love me still, that's fine. She's moved on already and just gets over relationships quicker than I do. If she does still love me, we could try making it work. I thought I had it all planned out. I really didn't expect her to say that she stopped loving me even when we were still together.

A lot of things were running through my mind. I couldn't believe that she had me 'figure it out for myself' that she wasn't in love with me or that there was a problem even. Instead of communicating anything to me, she knew that I would someday finally get mad enough at her passive aggressiveness and be the one to 'break up'. I wondered, how long would she have lived rent free before she told me anything?

Despite everything that was in my thoughts, I only said two things. I asked if there was anything that I could possibly do to make our relationship work. She said no. I then said that I loved her still and wished her the best in life, even though she's not with me. Now I can finally move on.

Almost there...

I have enough to pay off all of my student loans right now! That means I won't have any credit card or student loan debt anymore. The weird thing is that I don't get paid that much; I think the main reason I'm able to save is because the feeling of having money still seems foreign to me. When I look at my bank account, I'm still trying to get used to the numbers being in the three digits and now its five! Maybe I'm just slow...

The problem with paying off student loans is that I'll be broke after and I won't have any traveling money. What to do?

For now

Everything is only for now. Pain and happiness is only for now. Listening to Avenue Q; I love this Broadway.

LOL Committees

At first I thought corporations had a lot of meetings. I figured it was because management needed to keep track of a lot of staff. After I joined a small non-profit, I thought we would have fewer meetings since we have fewer staff. I was very wrong.

Instead, we have more meetings. I think half my days are spent in meetings. We then have meetings about our meetings (pre-meeting meeting). Just when I thought it couldn't get anymore ridiculous, I find a new king of "plan a lot, very little to show" behavior.

Apparently I was not properly introduced to the big leagues of inefficiency, the 'committee'. They're like meetings except its the exact same people dragging out the exact same topic ad infinitum, usually without any actual work (other than delegation).

I can just imagine that aspiring young manager moments before inventing the first committee, "Man, I love talking in meetings, but every week I need to come up with a new agenda and do the work of typing it up. How can I avoid that? What if I form a reoccurring meeting with the same group of people to discuss a much bigger issue? That way I can recycle the agenda for months and possibly years!"

Anyways, I digress with my rants so I'll continue with my story. Today was my first day participating in one of the committee meetings. We're a sub-committee of a larger committee that's meant to address data quality concerns in our database. What were some of the topics that we discussed? The first topic addressed - there was a rumor that another committee exists and is doing the exact same thing as our current committee.

We ask around the room to see if anyone's heard of this mysterious twin committee. We promptly see half the room raise their hands. Not only has half the room heard of our long lost twin committee, half of our current committee are part of the other committee (who we think are addressing the exact issues that we're addressing in our current group). Confusion spreads around the room; some people are on both committees without even realizing it. (Oh you meant that meeting? That was one of our committee meetings?) The issue of merging committees will be discussed on the next meeting.

For two hours we talk about what needs to be addressed to present statistically reliable information about homelessness to our community. Our solution after hours of discussion? Our current committee (remember that we're a sub-committee) has decided to form a new sub-committee to tackle the issues at hand...

I'm now part of a sub-committee's sub-committee that will focus on the rules of database merging and report writing. After today's meeting, I now know what a committee truly is. A committee is simply a group meeting where the work is repeatedly passed down to smaller groups until you actually have the people who will get shit done. That said, I wonder if we still have enough people to form one more sub-committee... The only difference is that I hope I'm not picked this time.

Cold...

It's a Tuesday... and the Executive Director of my non-profit was let go today. It was also coincidentally his birthday. This was a surprise to all of us. He took the day off so he could celebrate his birthday, but had to come in for a 'quick meeting' that couldn't be rescheduled with some of the board members. The surprise meeting was his termination.

Let me give some background information; I work at a non-profit for the homeless, not a corporation. We're not even that big of a non-profit; I work with about 7 other staff. Despite this, we don't even have the decency to let him have his day off or to wait until a Friday.

That's cold. I called him up after to let him know that the rest of the staff didn't know about the decision and that we'd like to buy him a beer or ten.

I know there was a lot of disagreement and even open hostility between the board and our Executive Director. I know some could justify it even fiscally to fire someone at an opportune fiscal date so that it makes bookkeeping easier. In the end though, I think it's just people so blinded by emotions (or lack thereof) that they forget how to be a decent human being to one another.

I'm fine :)

I think this past week has given me some clarity on what I want in future relationships (and its a bit clearer than Sunday's idea of "I'm done with all relationships"). I'm more aware of where to draw the lines between helping and supporting. I know more of what I like and dislike. I know what are deal breakers and what I'm willing to compromise on. I guess in the end, this relationship just helped me learn more about myself.

I'm not a materialistic kind of guy and if I ever get into another serious relationship, they should understand that. Despite living in San Diego for over two years, pretty much all my stuff fits in two suitcases with the exception of my surfboard and mountain bike. Despite that, finances were an issue in our relationship and the reason they were an issue is because I want to travel again. Peace Corps in Tonga, backpacking through Europe, and seeing some of the US East Coast just made me want to travel more. I'm not sure if its just something that I need to get out of my system or if its just how I want to live life.

In either case, I want to travel more so I just applied to be a janitor... in Antarctica! If I'm lucky, I'll be going from a full-time program manager at a homeless non-profit to a temporary janitor, I'll make a third of what I make now, and I'll move from sunny San Diego, CA to freezing Antarctica... if I'm 'lucky' enough to get the janitor job.

After my interview with Doctors Without Borders, I know that I need more life experience traveling (and hopefully learn French) before I apply again. Since the job in Antarctica covers free room and food, I'll be able to pocket whatever I make and use that to fund more backpacking. I'm thinking that I might try either South America (either Ecuador or Buenas Aires) or South Africa to surf/learn French for a year.

Oh, and my travel blog hasn't been deleted, I just ended up archiving it.

Our Place

I remember the first time Adrienne and I walked into the empty apartment. I can almost see us there, hand in hand wearing smiles that barely contained our anticipation, both of us eager to move into our first place together. As we walked across the bare hardwood floors, our steps echoed throughout the rooms. The whole apartment had a light colored décor that was instantly warm and welcoming. After viewing the place, we didn't need to say anything, we knew it would be our new home.

Being the travelers we are, we moved in with barely any possessions. Between the two of us, there were a couple of mattresses and some hastily packed boxes of clothes. We didn’t even have to rent a vehicle; a few car trips with some friends quickly moved us in. We didn’t have much, but we couldn’t have been happier. We were quite the unusual pair whose ultimate nightmare wasn’t being homeless, but rather owning a home.

Moving in was quite the commitment in more ways than one. For one, it was our first time living with one another. For both of us, this was our first real relationship. Speaking of commitment, in order to rent our ‘dream apartment’, we had to sign a 6 month lease (which seemed like an eternity to us). Despite our initial hesitation, we signed because we knew that life was going well; Adrienne had gotten the break she needed after months of job searching and had finally landed a new job that paid well. I was still enjoying my job and after being broke for so long in college, I was still getting used to the fact that I had expendable income. We were happy to have our own place together.

Soon after moving in and consolidating what we had, we realized our past reliance on our previous roommates’ kitchenware and furniture. Our place was barren and it remained so for a while; a few months after the last box was unpacked, a visiting friend saw our place for the first time and asked us without a hint of sarcasm, “When do you guys finish moving in?”

One day we finally broke down and decided to ditch the minimalist lifestyle. We finally accepted kitchen and furniture gifts from family and friends. My mom started it off by buying us a dining table. Once she found out that I would accept gifts (albeit reluctantly), she got us a couch and a set of kitchen knives.

Our thinking of what was acceptable to keep slowly shifted with time. When I first moved to San Diego, I was adamant that we had to follow by the “everything has to fit in the backpack” rule. (To be fair, I didn't think we were planning on staying long - we still had a world to explore) It took a while, but that mentality changed to the “everything has to fit in the truck” rule, which then finally took the form of “everything has to fit in the apartment” rule.

Now I’m sitting in the same empty apartment as it was a year ago. The rooms completely cleared, our stuff has been packed into separate boxes, and we’ve had random strangers on craigslist come by every so often to buy our stuff.

I used to wonder why people had such a hard time giving things up. Now I think I understand a little better. It’s not so much that they’re losing their material possessions; it’s more so that they’re losing a souvenir of their memories. The cute dinner table wasn’t so much a finely crafted piece of wood as it was the gift that my mom gave me or the place where I spent cooking countless new recipes.

When I leave this apartment tonight, I won’t take most of the material items with me, but I will take with me the good memories I’ve had here. Since I moved out of my parents place when I was 17, I haven't been to a place that I genuinely felt like it was home. This place was different; Adrienne made it home. And now I feel her slipping away from my life as well.

The MSF Interview

I looked at the test; it consisted of 100 multiple choice questions covering a wide range of subjects from logistics, construction, electrical wiring, computers, water sanitation, administration/accounting, automobile mechanics, and other miscellaneous subjects.

Here were some sample questions:

What is the correct mixture ratio for reinforced concrete?
a.) 2 parts cement, 3 parts sand, 4 parts gravel
b.) 2 parts cement, 3 parts sand, 3 parts gravel
c.) 1 part cement, 3 parts sand, 3 parts gravel
d.) 1 part cement, 3 parts sand, 4 parts gravel

When the front right shock absorber is leaking oil, you should do which of the following:
a.) Replace front right shock absorber only
b.) Replace front shock absorbers
c.) Replace all shock absorbers
d.) Replace oil in front right shock absorber

If there is a shipment from India to Sudan and it's marked "XXX Sudan" what does that mean:
a.) India is responsible for cost of sending and insurance
b.) India is responsible for insurance, but Sudan is responsible for receiving
c.) India is responsible for cost of sending, but Sudan is responsible for insurance
d.) Sudan is responsible for cost of sending and insurance

Say there is a building with 5000mm distance between the walls and a height of 600mm. The building needs to hold a weight of xxx lbs per x m. What size pieces of wood do you use? etc...

Needless to say, I guessed a lot more than I would have liked. After completing the test, I walked across the hall to call the recruiter back in to finish my interview with Doctors Without Borders / Medecins San Frontiers. I had applied to do logistics and somehow got an interview in their New York office.

In total, the whole interview process took about three hours. During that time I spoke directly to one of the field recruiting officers, a MSF nurse who had been in 10+ missions already. All of their 'human resources' department had either been in the field or were current field staff. We talked rather candidly about life working on the field and its expectation. Here's some of the points that we covered:

• There were a high number of applicants per year (1000's) and only a very low number of accepted volunteers (approximately 100).
• Logistician applicants need to be knowledgable in pretty much every non-medical field (see all the skills mentioned above in the initial test).
• If accepted, you get a quick two day orientation that covers what the agency is about and then you get a plane ticket. You should be able to hit the ground running; there is no training.
  
• As soon as you arrive at your assigned country, you should be able to setup a refugee camp and find a way to gather all the supplies/staff needed for it to be operational
  
• Most people interviewing were older, usually in their mid to late 30's
• Speaking French fluently is a very big plus
  

I was confident about the interview and I think I guessed pretty well on the test. I was able to narrow most questions down to two answers and I knew I was strong in the electrical wiring, IT, admin/accounting, and simple water sanitation sections. I was surprised at how well some of my preparations paid off (I smiled when I knew I nailed one of the questions about the proper firing sequence for an automobile engine)

However, I wasn't surprised when two weeks later, I received a hand signed letter from the MSF interviewer informing me that MSF did not have any open positions for me. I needed more work or travel experience. She had asked me to contact her again if I were still interested in the future after more work experience and/or to update her if I'm ever able to speak conversational French.

Now learning conversational French is on my to-do list!