Yay Rainy Days

Mug of Yerba Mate Tea - Check.
Macbook Pro - Check.
Warm Fuzzy Sweater - Check.
Favorite iTunes Playlist - Check.

Time to chill and code! =)

Good to be with friends and family

I'm a lot better now. If things aren't meant to be, then they're not meant to be. She's a great person and I wish her the best. I understand why she wants to move and I hope she finds everything she's looking for and more in New York.

Oddly, this reminds me of a situation of when Diego and I were in Canoa, Ecuador. As we strolled through the narrow dirt streets, Diego would constantly recognize people and say, "I know that guy, he owes me $20". ($20 over in Canoa has the same buying power as $100 here in the States)

After this happened a few times, I was finally perplexed enough to ask, "Why would you keep lending people money?"

He replied, "I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If people tell me they need a $20 loan for an emergency, I trust them. Some people pay me back and some don't. If I don't see them again, I'll be glad I only lost $20" It was a quick way of figuring out who was worth his time.

I think this concept of taking a positive perspective on a negative situation applies to relationships as well. When I left my job at the homeless agency, my plan was to travel for a year around South America. When I met her, my plans changed. I hoped there was something and was willing to take a chance. That was my priority.

Now she has the chance to stay or give the long distance relationship a shot. Neither seems a priority for her. I don't want to be in a relationship where someone's my priority and I'm only their convenience.

It sucks that this situation came up, but there is some good that came out of it. It's better to figure out that you're not looking for the same things in a relationship after only a few months instead of later.

:(

I feel like shit. My head is pounding. My nose is runny. I have puffy red eyes. My body is filled with a dull ache and I'm drained of energy.

I'm bad with breakups. When I think about her, I start to break down and cry uncontrollably. I'm not as emotionally strong as I thought or hoped to be.

She made me genuinely happy. She had an energy that I loved. She made me laugh and smile with her wit.

I guess she didn't see things the same as I did, or at least didn't feel the same way. It hurts. I thought we had a stronger connection.

I'm reminded why people put up emotional walls. When you fall in love and it doesn't work out, you hit the ground hard.

I know things will be okay later. Eventually I'll accept that we weren't meant to be and move on. Right now it's difficult to imagine not seeing her tomorrow.

Before this, I was setting goals of what I wanted to do in the upcoming month. Now I'm just trying to function and get by the hour without sobbing.

This hurts like hell. I didn't think it would be this bad. I don't even know why. It feels wrong. I'm supposed to be a grown man, but all I can do is curl up and hope I wake up from a bad dream.

Ecuador 2010 Pictures

Ecuador 2010

Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands

Currently in the Galapagos Islands. Finished reading Ishmael, a really interesting view on the world and how mankind plays its role. This book along with the trip to the Galapagos Islands and Canoa, Ecuador has changed my views on the environment.

Met so many great people and have had so many adventures. Will update more once I get back. So far Ive been on a peace march, caught great waves surfing in Canoa, had fresh seafood everyday, learned some Spanish, tried a scorpion/centipide liquor shot, and met locals/travelers alike.

Snorkeling here is amazing. Been swimming in the wild and within inches of sea turtles, sea lions, penguins, stingrays, manta rays, etc.

As much as I love this, I also can´t wait to get back home to be with friends, family, and an amazing girlfriend for the Holidays! Life is great =)